a blog about nothing...

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

My point of view

Plenty of bad things happen to good ppl. As much as we hate this to happen, it's true. And I hate hearing that bullshite about "well, it could be worse" or when ppl tell u that it's not as bad as the position so-and-so is in. This may be true, but how does wot happened to my 3rd cousin twice removed have anything to do with me? The reason my problems are bigger than everyone else's is because THEY ARE MY PROBLEMS (I'm sure u feel that ur problems are bigger than everyone else's). Yeh, they may be miniscule compared to other ppl, but that doesn't make me feel better or help me solve my issues. And trust me, there have been a number of dark days when I couldn't, no matter how hard I tried, see the silver lining. It was all pitch black...
Has anyone really thought about the consequences of their own actions? I know I definitely don't. When I say or do mean things, I don't sit there and wonder how that's affecting the other person or if they're still going to be upset with me 20yrs later. I don't intentionally mean to upset ppl, I'm not vindictive. But I'm not into guessing games either. If I've crossed the line, I expect that u will tell me, not give me the silent treatment and expect that I'm a mind reader. Believe me, if I've felt that you've crossed the line, I'll let u know. I'm not the type of person who dwells over things. I don't hold grudges. It's happened, it's passed, get over it.
There are many decisions in my life where, if given the chance, I would've gone back and done differently. Maybe things would've turned out better if I had've gone the other way, then again maybe not.
Friends and family are the most important things to me. Fuck with them, and all hell will break loose. I expect a lot from these two groups, but I don't expect them to do for me wot I'm not willing to do for them. I like making friends but I won't keep friendships if they're too much trouble or if it's not genuine. I don't like fake people. People shouldn't have to work at being friends with someone. From past experience, relationships with partners are hard enough to maintain and friends are supposed to be a relief from that. I have a group of friends who I know I will eventually lose contact with and it's sad in a way, but that's ok with me. I enjoy them for the time that they're here and when we go our separate ways, at least we'll have the good memories . Wot's important to me is that I maintain the ones that REALLY matter, the ones who've seen me thru good and bad.

So wot is my pt in all this rambling?????

My pt is that things happen in life, some things we have control over, others not so. But without the miseries, how do we know how to enjoy the success? We can either live and learn, or sit and dwell. The way I see it, u can either accept ur faults (because NOBODY is perfect) try to fix them and move on, or hold grudges and focus on the bad things and forever feel sorry for urself. Chances are, if u do the latter, u'll end up even more miserable than ever. Sure there'll be times when things don't go the way u want them to and it's fine to be upset about them but I guess it's the choices that u make that shape u into who u are today. It's how well u deal with fallbacks that either make u stronger or weaker. U shouldn't let anyone else bring u down in the same way that u shouldn't depend on someone else to pick u up. Friends are a great support system when u feel low, but in the end it's all about the confidence u have to be able to bring urself back up. Mistakes and regrets are for yesterday.

It's like Red says in Shawshank Redemption: "GET BUSY LIVING OR GET BUSY DYING"

Which one are u???


Blogger ferrarista said...

OMG!! That was so fucking contemplative Leenz...whats wrong with you woman??!!!

Anyhoos, that was a very good post.

I used to be the kind of person that used to think about other people's feelings...sort of a "think b4 u speak" kinda person, but I've found out the hard way that all you get is shit in return. People take you for granted.

I do admit though that I am one of those annoying overly sensitive people who takes everything to heart. I value my friends dearly, sometimes even more than my family coz I think they understand me better. I think that I depend on my friends a lot...mainly for support, and as sad as this sounds...to make me feel good about myself. Having said that though, as I go through life I am slowly but surely deviating from that...I find that a "fuck all" selfish attitude is less harmful to my emotional soul.

6:58 PM  
Blogger Xia_mi_mi said...

Ya..when I get busy I tend to forget about alot of unhappy things. Call it psychological numbing if you want, but that's how I survive till so loong.. =P

1:03 AM  
Blogger pj said...

I agree with almost everything you've typed linda.. it's so incredibly true.

But I've always, always believed, that I'm who I am today, because of my friends and family. We're shaped by the events that happens in our lives. True, its true character that will affect how you think, but choices, decisions, life changing events, all these are involved in what you're all about and going to be.

And I'm so glad for my friends and family and I'm really glad for what I'm become, because of them.

I just wish I had more time with you guys. :)

1:20 AM  
Blogger pj said...

and I know it may be a bit premature to say this, but, if i'm one of the few who may eventually lose touch (god knows, it may already be happening):

i hope i find you again. :)

1:22 AM  
Blogger Leenz said...

@chris: yeh i was feeling in a rather optimistic/relective mood that nite!!! dnt worry, the next post will be bak to my rather negative/sarcastic self =)
this was only my POV and i realise that we all see things from a different perspective...but this is how i feel.and as for ur "fuck all" attitude...i haven't been the brunt of that..YET =p

@xia_mi_mi: i used to focus on the bad things and forget about the good but for some reason i dnt anymore...maybe it's me becoming senile in my ol' age!

PJ: yeh, friends and family r extremely important...i depend on them A LOT (esp family, mainly for financial reasons =p) and when i was younger, i always used to blame mum for a lot of the wrong choices but now i'm older (cos u know, i'm sooooo ancient!!)i realise that everything really all came down to me and wot i was willing to do and wot i wasnt. i rely on friends and family's inputs and that guides me but ultimately, it comes down to me. but that's just me!!! (cos u know, i'm soooo self absorbed!=p)

like u said, i think good friends don't need to talk to eachother every day to remain good friends. i've said it on chris' blog but i'll say it again, if i do lose touch with u girls, u know how to get in contact with me if u need me :D

PS wot about our planned holidays every year huh????

1:11 PM  
Blogger ferrarista said...

Leenz/PJ: Ten bucks when the time comes for our planned holidays, one of us will back out at the last moment...I don't have too much faith in you girls when it comes to such things :( I remember being so totally skeptical/afraid that Pam would pull out of the Melb. GP weekend...We all made it then though!! That was good *sigh* OK, drifting again...

1:37 PM  
Blogger pj said...

chris + linda: I AM NOT BACKING OUT OF SEPANG 07.


hahahhahhaha... seriously ladies,
so long as we have planned it in advance, i'll defo try my best..

and anyhow my melbourne trip was all well and good anyhow. :D

take care chickees, i hope we ALL manage to get to sepang 07..




I'm so tired of waiting.... :(

8:18 PM  
Blogger Leenz said...

we will try, we will DEFINITELY try!!! asia trip mite take a while but i think we'll move heaven and earth to get to sepang :) see u in nov anywho!

3:43 PM  
Blogger ferrarista said...

I hope I will still be in Australia next year...If not, Sepang might just be a distant dream for me...Anyhoos, we shall not worry about things that haven't occurred as yet, yeah...*I really, really don't want to go back to Kuwait tho* :(

1:04 PM  
Blogger pj said...

miss ya both, babes.

update! :D

1:28 PM  
Blogger Leenz said...

aaawww we miss u 2 pam!! :( will catch up in nov or dec tho :D bear with us while we're tearing out our hair strand by strand trying to get thru these exams and then we'll update. see, aren't u glad u don't have to put up with this shite anymore??

7:16 PM  
Blogger Xia_mi_mi said...

Yupz, getting busy with life is a good thing. But don't forget to rest once in a while wor.. =)

2:28 PM  

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