a blog about nothing...

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

My point of view

Plenty of bad things happen to good ppl. As much as we hate this to happen, it's true. And I hate hearing that bullshite about "well, it could be worse" or when ppl tell u that it's not as bad as the position so-and-so is in. This may be true, but how does wot happened to my 3rd cousin twice removed have anything to do with me? The reason my problems are bigger than everyone else's is because THEY ARE MY PROBLEMS (I'm sure u feel that ur problems are bigger than everyone else's). Yeh, they may be miniscule compared to other ppl, but that doesn't make me feel better or help me solve my issues. And trust me, there have been a number of dark days when I couldn't, no matter how hard I tried, see the silver lining. It was all pitch black...
Has anyone really thought about the consequences of their own actions? I know I definitely don't. When I say or do mean things, I don't sit there and wonder how that's affecting the other person or if they're still going to be upset with me 20yrs later. I don't intentionally mean to upset ppl, I'm not vindictive. But I'm not into guessing games either. If I've crossed the line, I expect that u will tell me, not give me the silent treatment and expect that I'm a mind reader. Believe me, if I've felt that you've crossed the line, I'll let u know. I'm not the type of person who dwells over things. I don't hold grudges. It's happened, it's passed, get over it.
There are many decisions in my life where, if given the chance, I would've gone back and done differently. Maybe things would've turned out better if I had've gone the other way, then again maybe not.
Friends and family are the most important things to me. Fuck with them, and all hell will break loose. I expect a lot from these two groups, but I don't expect them to do for me wot I'm not willing to do for them. I like making friends but I won't keep friendships if they're too much trouble or if it's not genuine. I don't like fake people. People shouldn't have to work at being friends with someone. From past experience, relationships with partners are hard enough to maintain and friends are supposed to be a relief from that. I have a group of friends who I know I will eventually lose contact with and it's sad in a way, but that's ok with me. I enjoy them for the time that they're here and when we go our separate ways, at least we'll have the good memories . Wot's important to me is that I maintain the ones that REALLY matter, the ones who've seen me thru good and bad.

So wot is my pt in all this rambling?????

My pt is that things happen in life, some things we have control over, others not so. But without the miseries, how do we know how to enjoy the success? We can either live and learn, or sit and dwell. The way I see it, u can either accept ur faults (because NOBODY is perfect) try to fix them and move on, or hold grudges and focus on the bad things and forever feel sorry for urself. Chances are, if u do the latter, u'll end up even more miserable than ever. Sure there'll be times when things don't go the way u want them to and it's fine to be upset about them but I guess it's the choices that u make that shape u into who u are today. It's how well u deal with fallbacks that either make u stronger or weaker. U shouldn't let anyone else bring u down in the same way that u shouldn't depend on someone else to pick u up. Friends are a great support system when u feel low, but in the end it's all about the confidence u have to be able to bring urself back up. Mistakes and regrets are for yesterday.

It's like Red says in Shawshank Redemption: "GET BUSY LIVING OR GET BUSY DYING"

Which one are u???

Friday, May 12, 2006

SICK DAMMIT

I am feeling like SHITE ppl (and look like it too if I say so myself!) I have somehow caught the cold off someone else (not hard, apparently they're quite common). I have a bit of a stuffy nose (which consequently makes me drool all over my pillow and I fookin' HATE it when that happens) and my throat is bloody killing me! I swear it feels like instead of downing shots, I've accidentally grabbed a handful of razor blades instead and in my delerious state, have just kept throwing them back. My throat is that red raw...I have been gargling this Betadine Throat Gargle which incidentally I always recommend to ppl in the pharmacy and fat lot of good that's doing!! I honestly think they've just bottled up Listerine Mouthwash and chucked a bit of brown colouring in it and sold it for $13 for a 10mL bottle.

In case u haven't noticed, I am an absolute baby when it comes to being even slightly sick. I really want my mum here to look after me, which prolly wouldn't be such a good idea cos she'd tell me 2 things: (1) "go see the doctor", and (2) "wot do u mean u're paralytic, have a temperature of 150 degrees and coughing ur lungs up?! Get ur ass to school and start studying!" Have u noticed that Asian 'rents are always insisting that u go and see a doctor, even if u have a miniscule problem such as a grazed knee? "Wah, mite be infected, go see a doctor." But the minute it's their turn to see a doctor, all hell breaks loose. They absolutely REFUSE to go even if they're having a heart attack (no joke, my daddy was having one and didn't tell us that anything was wrong until FOUR FUCKING HOURS LATER!!!)

But back to me...so in my state of illness, my great housemate stuck a note on my door saying "hope u feel better soon and let me know if i can do anything besides cooking." Lovely sentiments and all however, turns out it was actually ME cooking for HER!!! (yeh, u know who u r biatch!!) But that's ok, I take great comfort in the fact that I coughed all over her food!!! MWHAHAHA

SO......on a final note, enough about me, let's talk about u....so wot do u think about me??? ;)


OK ppl, I'm sorry, I think I'm a bit delerious at this stage!