a blog about nothing...

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Life's a bitch...and don't we know it

Seriously, why oh why does it always seem that when an important weekend is coming up and you want to look your best, your skin suddenly has a fucking brain fart?? And it ain't just one, it's a whole damn cluster of them! It's like my skin has a 6th sense of these things..."quick, she's going away this weekend, CODE RED!!!" And then they all swoop in for the kill, like when you feed seagulls at the beach (those of you who were stupid enough to do that know what I'm talking about...damn scary man!) It didn't happen last week when all I had was uni, no no, it had to happen this weekend when I'm going away for my first holiday in 3 years. I did everything right: drank heaps (and heaps) of water (which just made me pee like a race horse), put on facial masks (which seemed to make it worse), ate healty (which made me feel worse), spend oodles and oodles of money buying expensive brands that are supposed to be antiblemish (false advertising dammit!) You name it, I did it. And this is how the bastid repays me. By thinking it's a free party where everyone's invited: come one, come all!

Remedies that I've tried:
1. squeezing lemon juice on them *hint: this burns like mad people and does NOT come highly recommended. Particularly stings when it comes in contact with the eyes
2. leaving them alone. This is actually harder than it sounds cos when you have a huge MOFO that's the size of Mt Everest, it's like an itch that needs scratching
3. sqeezing them. DON'T DO THIS!!! While the one you squeezed may be gone, about another 10 more come to its funeral. Not pretty.
4. antiblemish sticks. HAHAHAHAH, this is a joke! They should just call them Bullshit sticks. However, I do learn my lesson the hard way cos I always go back for more! *PS I'm a product hussy <:-%
5. exfoliate. Some lucky bastid out there struck it rich when they bottled up sand in a tube and called it " exfoliating microbeads". Sure, and Mr Garrison from South Park doesn't look anything like Johnny Howard!
and finally...
6. toothpaste. Yes, as weird as it sounds, I have tried this. And while it does kinda get rid of it, I don't really know if walking around with white globs that look like a pigeon just #2d on your face is more attractive than the pimple itself. And yes, I did think about putting it on at night instead, however, toothpaste all over the pillow and subsequently in my hair (and everywhere except the damn spot itself) is not very appealing.

*sigh* I envy those damn bitches that don't spend a small fortune on facial products and still have peachy, flawless, smooth-as-a-baby's-bottom skin. Funnily enough, it always seems that they're smokers and chocolate addicts....hm, a diet worth trying me thinks ;-p

Friday, March 17, 2006

A day in the life of a uni student.....

OK, since this is my first blog EVER (a feat really, as I'm so technophobic I just recently discovered MSN Messenger), I shall start with wot I like to call....A day in the life of a uni student *insert Days of our Lives music here*

7:00am wake up cos the bastid alarm has gone off *hint: MUCH better to wake up to music rather than possibly THE most annoying sound in the world (sounds like 2 cats fighting...or as I just recently discovered, they're actually having sex *shudder*) However, chances of actually waking up are slim to none
Hit snooze button

7:05am radio goes off again *repeat this for another 5 times and wonder why the hell you didn't just set your alarm for 7:30 in the first place

7:30am stay in bed for another 5mins contemplating whether or not you should actually attend your lecture at the unGodly hour of 8am (who functions at that time???) while thinking to yourself, "yeh, I've got plenty of time to get ready"

7:35am after deciding you're going to go (cos you've already failed waaaaay too many times to give your classmates ANY advantage over you) you haul ass to the bathroom to make sure that you're in there before the person who you heard just go to the toilet gets in, snickering to self about the beauty of your timing. Curse under breath when you find that somebody else who has done EXACTLY the same thing as you is in there first, possibly sniggering to him/herself about how they're going to make it on time while you have to pretty much set a world record just to make it there 15mins late. Curse under breath while still thinking "yeh, I can still make it"

7:45am finally out of the bathroom, try to multi task by putting on clothes, make up, brush hair, put contacts in, pack the bag and skull a whole cup of boiling hot coffee in one gulp (scolding tongue in the process) all at the same time....lucky we're girls huh ;)

7:50am after forgetting about 1000 and 10 things, you're finally out the door realising "fuck, I'm going to be late" and cursing over the lost time you spent wondering if the eyebrows you've drawn on are crooked, or if the sunnies you picked out really do go with your outfit (does black go with pink???)

7:50-7:55am wait with10 other students for wot seems like hours for a break in the traffic, giving evil daggers to the drivers (which is quite pointless really cos unless they're Superman, they're hardly going to see you're contorted face under your owl-like oversized sunnies...luving them at the mo'!!!). Curse under breath. After deciding you've waited long enough, take your chances and play headless chicken with the cars. Now it's their turn to give YOU daggers...ah, karma's a bitch!

8:10am yes you're late, but so is your damn lecturer. Bitch about the fact that if YOU managed to show up then he should at least show you the same courtesy. Secretly hope that he doesn't come so you can go home instead of sitting through wot I think is the best cure for insomnia. Vow that you'll give him another 5mins before you leave

8:14 (and 59secs) as if right on cue, the bastid shows up. DAMMIT!!!

arvo-5pm attend other mind numbing lectures/tutes/pracs, in which you're absolutely clueless about wot's going on thinking "I don't remember doing this AT ALL, and I should know, I've repeated 2nd year 3 FUCKING TIMES!" Casually walk around the class pretending you're looking for books but really sneaking peaks at other students work. 2nd guess yourself cos someone else who looks smarter than you (usually the Asians with the glasses) has a different answer. Curse yourself cos it turns out you were right in the first place. Eat uni food for lunch which is usually, at best, just salted orange water that they call "chef's special: gourmet pumpkin soup" and charge $7...yeh, that's reasonable. Double over in pain for the rest of the day while stomach makes weird gurgling noises

5:00-5:10pm play headless chicken with peak hour traffic again....oh joy!

5:30-10:00pm veg out in front of the telly while promising that you'll study right after dinner. Usually some shite that you wouldn't eat in a million years but make the exception becaue you're desperate. Try to convince yourself that it really does taste like something Jamie Oliver cooked....Really, carbonara is supposed to be green! Finally give up and opt for mee goreng which seems to be the universal uni student food *PS apparently mee goreng looks the same way coming out as it does going in! Found out one night after a friend called Jim Beam decided to drop by! ;) Wot should usually take you 15mins to eat dinner somehow takes 1 1/2 hrs...such a mystery really...like something straight out of the X-files!

12:00a go to sleep trying to pick out an outfit to try to save you time the next morning, groaning cos you realise you have to do it all over again for the next 4 days....

ah, the joys of being a uni student.......